I am in and outta here like white on rice.

?

Oh, Geese.

Loves ya Jeese <3

Hind sight is 50/50

Guest contribution by: SuzyOman*

I think she meant "Hind sight is 20/20", essentially that poor decisions of the past are made clear with future events.

 

*Name changed to protect Jessica's Boss ;)

21st Century Idioms

She keeps pouring salt in the water...

Rubbing salt into the wound, to further aggravate a situation or (literally) cause excruciating pain.

They were attached at the ankles...

Guest contribution from my sister-in-law.

(As I says, the turnip dun't fall fur from the tree.)

I think she meant, "Attached at the hip", meaning figuratively inseperable people.

It's the big pink elephant in the room...

I think she meant:

It's the 800 pound gorilla in the room.

"800 pound gorilla" is an American Englishexpression for a person or organization so powerful that it can act without regard to the rights of others or the law. The phrase is rooted in a riddle:

"Where does an 800 lb. gorilla sit?"

The answer:

"Anywhere it wants to."

When Push Comes To Punch

I think she meant when push comes to shove.

Fig. when things get a little pressed; when the situation gets more active or intense.

The apple doesn't live far from the tree.

I think she meant "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

Refers to a father/mother and son/daughter not being different from one another or being identical in their actions, behaviors, etc.

Dad gets caught stealing in his teen years and then his son gets caught stealing as a teen.

The mother might look at the father and say, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

She was stabbing in the dark for a reason

I think she meant:​

"Taking a stab in the dark​" meaning making a complete guess.

You're in the cat house...

Um, that'd be okay. 

I think she meant 'You're in the dog house.'

Dragonfly Tears

I think she meant crocodile tears...or perhaps unicorn tears.

Crocodile Tears

Noun Tears that are insincere.

Unicorn Tears

A magical potion that does absolutely nothing, but is sought after nonetheless by suckers who never figured out that the Easter Bunny isn't real.

Blow me over with a feather

I think she meant "Well knock me over with a feather".

He/she talks the walk but doesn't say it...

I think she intended a variant of "walk the walk"

Meaning

Back up one's talk with action.

Origin

'Walk the walk' is almost always said in combination with 'talk the talk', for example, "if you’re going to talk the talk, you’ve got to walk the walk", or "walk it like you talk it". This is a 20th century American alternative to various old sayings which epitomise the notion that 'talk is cheap', for example 'actions speak louder than words' and 'practice what you preach'. The context for the use of any of these expressions is in response to what is seen as empty boasting. People who are accused of such are said (in the USA) to 'talk a good game' or (in the UK) to be 'all mouth and no trousers'.

The disdain that unproductive bragging is held in was carried a little further by no less authors than George Bernard Shaw and Shakespeare. They both implied that 'talking' was itself an ineffectual alternative to 'walking'.

In Man and Superman, 1903, George Bernard Shaw suggested that:

"He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches."

Shakespeare's Richard III, 1594, includes the character known simply as 'The First Murderer' - clearly not a man to be trifled with:

Fear not, my lord, we will not stand to prate;

Talkers are no good doers: be assured

We come to use our hands and not our tongues.

Benjamin Franklin is reputed to have coined the proverbial saying "Well done is better than well said". I've resorted to the weasly 'reputed to' there, as, although it is certainly in his style, there appears to be no hard evidence to link Franklin to this phrase. The earliest usage that I can actually verify is a citation from the Ohio newspaper The Mansfield News, June 1921:

"Although he has no gilded medals upon his bosom, Howard Herring of the North American Watch company, walks the walk, and talks the talk, of a hero today."

I'm not blowing smoke and mirrors...

I believe it should have been...

I'm not blowing smoke up your bottom + smoke and mirrors

Most literally translating to "trying to get a reaction" out of somebody. Originated from a 16th century technique to determine death by literally blowing tobacco smoke into someone's anus (through a long pipe) - where a reaction indicated that the person was still alive.

I'm not the brightest match in the box.

Not the sharpest tool in the shed + light bulbs?

Hit the bull on the head...

Hit the bull on the nose + hit the nail on the head

I'm gonna high-five it outta here...

High Tail, High Tailing: possibly coined from observing hump back and other whale species that present their tails high out of the water as they are preparing to dive deep in search of food or to escape.

Alternately, slang for a visible g-string undergarment.

This makes me feel like a fricken' rocket star!

 In response to  Worst Cooks In America.  I think this was supposed to be "This makes me feel like a fricken' rocket scientist.

My thanks to Gary Larson

Stirring the boat.

In the context I heard in my Loves recounting of her events this evening this was meant to be "Stir the pot", to cause unrest or dissent through words or action.

You got his gourd.

I think this is meant to be "Got your Goat", that is, cause annoyance or anger through some action.

Ducks off a waters back.

This is the original that started it all. I believe it's supposed to be the idiom "Water off a duck's back".
Meaning, if criticism or something similar is like water off a duck's back to somebody, they aren't affected by it in the slightest.